Wedding Party

03/07/07

Mother of the Bride

Every daughter has a different relationship with her mother. You may be the really close 'best of friends' type in which case you will have a lot of support in organising your wedding. If however you 'best friend' starts too take over then make sure to let her know as this can become a little over whelming. If you and your mum are not so close and perhaps don't get on well then don't expect the announcement of an engagement to make you best friends overnight. Whatever the present state of your relationship, involving your mum in your wedding plans is a chance to improve upon it or try and repair it or just strengthen those existing bonds.

Mother of the Bride - Duties

When you start to set your wedding plans in motion it is a good idea to sit down with your mum and decide who is going to organise what, so that she is then given some tasks to do. This way you get help, so all the planning is not down to just you and also your mum feels happy to be involved and to be helping. Obviously there is a fine line, and even with the best intentions your mum may start to try and impose her own ideas on you. If this is the case then just sit down and talk about what you want for your special day and why. But make sure you are listening to her ideas because after all two or three minds are better than one.

There are not really any set duties for the mother of the bride like there are for the father, or the best man. She basically helps you out in as much or as little as you like. Mums are often helpful in the choosing of the wedding stationery, as the groom does not tend to be interested in this sort of thing, the same goes for the flower arrangements and bouquets for you and the bridesmaids. When choosing your wedding dress it is helpful to have your mum there as well as you bridesmaids to give a woman's opinion on how you look in different styles. This is a really big decision and if you did not invite your mum she would be likely to be hurt anyway. You could arrange visits with your mum to wedding shows and exhibitions, as your groom is unlikely to be interested in attending these. Having help from your mum in planning your wedding is great and you should enjoy this time because she certainly will.

Mother of the Bride - Outfit

The mum to be will be a real focus of attention on the day as well as the bride and groom, and her outfit will no doubt be commented upon, especially if she has chosen well. It is important that your mum chooses an outfit that will compliment and flatter her shape and also that she feels comfortable in. Specialist mother of the bride shops can be found through many wedding sources, like magazines, websites, wedding shows and of course through family and friends.

Important things to consider when buying your mothers outfit are, how the outfit will look along side those of other bridal party members. A clash in colour between your mum's outfit and the colour of the bridesmaid dresses may not look so good in your photos. Your mum should stand out in the crowd but not in a bad way, in an elegant, unforced way. Another very important point is to talk to the mother of the groom, to find out what she is planning to wear. A mother of the bride's worst nightmare is turning up at the wedding in the same colour or outfit as the groom's mother. Make sure when you talk to her that it does not sound like a decision is being forced on her. Normally whoever has bought their outfit first just phones up the other as soon as possible to let her know. Once the outfit is bought remind your mum to keep the receipt in case she changes her mind closer to the time, or any alterations have to be made.

Mother-of-the-bride outfits are really wide ranging in styles. You can choose from flattering separates such as trouser suits, perhaps teamed with a delicate camisole, or a long over jacket can look dramatic with an elegant tapered skirt and shimmering top. You could also think shawls, and wraps which would work beautifully especially in a summer wedding. If your mum is small some flowing lengths of fabric will simply overwhelm her. There are so many different ranges of colours and fabrics to choose from, so make sure your mum takes time to think about what colour compliments her best and what fabrics she will feel comfortable and elegant in.

If your mum cant find anything she likes then she could have an outfit specially made. Bridal dress designers often offer a mother-of-the-bride service, the cost of which is best made worthwhile with a design that can be worn again. There are also lots of gorgeous accessories to choose from. There are bags, shoes, jewellery, and of course hats for your mum to accessorise her perfect outfit with. A good designer or shop attendant will be able to advise on the best and most flattering accessories for the chosen outfit. Not all mums wish to wear a hat, not everyone suits them. However there are so many styles to choose from that often a good shop attendant will be able to help pick out one that will suit your face shape and hairstyle. Although if you are not used to wearing hats you may feel a bit uncomfortable when you fist put it on this is just unfamiliarity and one you get used to the shape it will all become more pleasant. If she definitely does not want to wear a hat you could show her some beautiful floral accessories or hair jewels as stylish alternatives.

Father of the Bride

It will probably be your father's proudest moment when he gets to walk his beautiful daughter down the aisle. It will also probably be a really emotional time for you and your father. He may start to worry that instead of gaining a son he is losing a daughter and so he may start to feel sad and nostalgic, it is therefore important that you make sure that you make him understand that there is enough room in your life for two men. Let your father know in your own way that you still love and need him.

Father of the Bride - Duties

You father's most important duty is walking you down the aisle and his speech at the reception. You travel to the church/venue in a car (or whatever your choice of transport is) with your father. Once you arrive at the church/venue you will probably have pictures taken coming out of the car with your father and then outside the church/venue. Then you will proceed in the procession with the minister first, then you on your fathers right arm, followed by your attendants. Depending on what kind of service you are having your father may give your hand to the groom or in some cases the minister.

The second important task for your father will be planning his speech for the reception. The father of the bride's speech is first and he should thank the groom's parents and the guests for coming and do a toast to the health and happiness of the newly married couple. A few things for your father to remember for his speech are, one or two jokes will go down well and also if he wants to mention your childhood he should keep it brief, a lengthy account of your childhood history will only serve to bore the guests. If there is anything in particular that you would find embarrassing then say to him, he would rather make you happy than embarrass you.

Father of the Bride - Outfit

Your father will probably wear what the rest of the wedding party will be wearing, so it will depend on what the groom chooses. However he does not have too and as long as you and the groom do not mind then he could choose a different option from the rest, either highland wear, day wear, black tie, white tie, or morning wear. There are lots of specialist shops that do all these different outfits, and provide a fitting service.

Father of the Bride - Highland Wear

The full Highland dress can be bought or hired and within this theme you can be as subtle or as flamboyant as you like. Wearing your own family tartan (or that of a close relative) can be worn with Prince Charlie jacket and vest, this is probably the most popular choice however there are lots of additions and alternatives to this choice. Such as plaids, Argyll jackets,

Jacobean shirts and tartan trews.

A kilt is worn with a sporran and fastened with a kilt pin; evening highland wear should be worn with a black tie and a wing collar. The skean-dhu is a traditional ceremonial dagger and is worn on your right leg if you are right handed and vice versa. Black-laced brogues should be worn tied up the legs over cream dress socks held up with garters and coloured flashes. The kilt should come just level with the tops of your knees.

Father of the Bride - Day Wear

There are lots of sharp suits, classic tailoring and luxury accessories out there in a wide range of specialist menswear stores, department stores and designer shops. Most of them offer fitting services and style advice. A designer suit is an investment as it can be worn well after the day. If you choose to have a suit specially tailored for you, do remember that a bespoke suit can be around two months in the making so make sure you make arrangements early on.

Father of the Bride - Black Tie

Black tie is normally worn at formal dinners and balls and where it has been specified 'black tie'. For this you should wear a black suit, which consists of a double or single breast black jacket with ribbed silk or satin-faced lapels, and trousers with a single braid or satin stripe down the outside leg. Underneath the jacket you should wear a Marcella or pleated white shirt with a classic or wing collar with a black bow tie. You could modernise and co-ordinate more with the colour theme of the wedding by adding more vivid colours of waistcoats or bow ties. Complete your outfit with a pair of black highly-polished plain, toe-capped or patent leather shoes.
Father of the Bride - White Tie
White tie is the most formal attire for the most formal occasions, and is worn at civic events such as banquets, balls and some ambassadorial dinners and even sometimes to the opera. A full outfit consists of a black tailcoat worn with matching double braided trousers, semi stiff, studded front white Marcella bow tie and waistcoat, and black patent leather evening shoes. A silver-topped cane, black top hat and white gloves are optional extras.

Father of the Bride - Morning Wear

The traditional attire for a wedding is a morning suit although now a days there are many other options. For weddings morning coats should be black or blue, only the groom may wear shades of grey. The trousers should be either plain black or striped in charcoal or navy. As part of morning dress a waistcoat should be worn and this should be, traditionally in either grey or buff, however increasingly other colours are being worn, especially popular is gold. Your shoes on the day should also be black leather and very well polished and socks should be black or grey.

Wedding Stationery by Leonico Designs Ltd
http://www.uk-wedding-stationery.co.uk/